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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24182224">It’s Been a Long Time Since You ~Fell in Love~</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphenglandstan/pseuds/aphenglandstan'>aphenglandstan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hetalia: Axis Powers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(it’s brief but it’s there), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, Self-Harm, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Trans Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:34:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,027</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24182224</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphenglandstan/pseuds/aphenglandstan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur didn’t know what to think. But he knew what he felt, and it wasn’t what he was supposed to feel.</p><p>Could his soulmate mark be wrong?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>America/England (Hetalia)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It’s Been a Long Time Since You ~Fell in Love~</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Make sure to read the tags beforehand bc there’s a lil bit of triggering content. There’s not much, but it’s there. Keep yourself safe.</p><p>I also use Alex instead of Alfred for plot reasons.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I always kinda knew I was destined to fall in love with the girl next door. Her name was Alex Jones, and when I asked her middle name, it was Faith. That fit the Alex F. Jones on my wrist. Of course, I’d never show her my wrist. What if she ended up being an asshole? (What? I had older brothers. Sure, I’d never say it out loud. But I could think it.) I could live without marrying anyone.</p><p>What annoyed me the most was how awkward my parents acted about it when we got back home.</p><p>“Do you have anything you want to tell us?”</p><p>“You know we’ll always love you, sweetheart.”</p><p>And I just stomped away because I didn’t like her. And I didn’t know what they thought we did when we dipped off for just a few minutes. I wasn’t that type of person.</p><p>And besides, we were only 12.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———————</p>
</div>But soon, we were older. Fifteen. And we were becoming better friends. Everything was perfect. Like a fairy tale. We were amazing friends and we got along so well. My parents had basically gotten over any dislike they had towards her, and everyone expected me to be ecstatic.<p>But I felt broken. I was supposed to like her. Did God make a mistake on my wrist? Or was I God’s mistake?</p><p>The more I looked at her, the more I saw a friend. But nothing more. Everyone around me was falling in love, and I was just sentenced to sadness.</p><p>Sentenced to life with someone I couldn’t be happy with.</p><p>Everyone sat around discussing their soulmates and thinking that boys were cute. And I prayed that I’d stop thinking that, too.</p><p>Everyone around me shouted my name, calling me towards them, but it brought me nothing but misery. To see everyone so excited to see the person that they thought I was. But I wasn’t him. I was me, the one with a miswritten name on my wrist. I tried to cross it off with permanent marker. I tried to cut until it disappeared. I tried to burn it off. And yet when everything was gone, it was still obviously there. Alex F. Jones. I hated the way that it made me feel. And the fact that my parents told me I was special for it.</p><p>“Even the middle initial! Mine doesn’t have it.”</p><p>I hated it.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———————</p>
</div>Seventeen, and I was starting to realize it was worse than I could’ve ever dreamed. I barely even noticed Alex anymore, my brain wandering to boys in my class instead. I’d taken to praying. Anything in hopes that it’d go away, and I’d like Alex instead.<p>I hated the soulmate system. I never wanted to see her wrist, because it would just verify the horrible. And it would have a name that I’m just trying to forget. I just wished that my wrist would disappear. Or that I would disappear.</p><p>She would call me, excited, after every class. And we’d walk home together every day. And yet, I still felt nothing. And I didn’t know if I was angry at her, or angry at myself.</p><p>All I knew was that I liked boys. And I didn’t like knowing that, but I couldn’t shove it down anymore.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———————</p>
</div>Eighteen was when I packed up and left home. I made it into a college all the way in the USA- a place where no-one would know me. A place where I could redefine myself, and let everyone meet the true Arthur. And hopefully they didn’t care too much about soulmates.<p>I stumbled onto campus, still jet lagged. I tripped over my feet, almost knocking a stranger over.</p><p>“Hey! Are you a new student? I’m also a new student, but I wanna welcome you here and everything! What’s your name?”</p><p>I almost laughed at the ‘What’s your name?’ because he clearly hadn’t found his soulmate.</p><p>But once I got over my slight amusement, I panicked, almost saying the wrong one. “Arthur Kirkland.”</p><p>“Oh, hey, um,” he said, voice far quieter and more reserved.</p><p>I thought it was rather cute. He went from boisterous to shy just like that. I mentally slapped myself for thinking that he was cute. He wasn’t my soulmate, so I couldn’t be having those thoughts.</p><p>“I’m Alex F. Jones. The F is important, because I like to say that it stands for freedom!”</p><p>Well, I supposed I could think those thoughts. And they flooded my brain. I guess this was what all my friends felt when they were younger, and I felt immature but happy and I failed to wipe the dopey nervous smile off of my face.</p><p>He held out his hand, glancing at his wrist and then my covered one.</p><p>And I legitimately could’ve cried as I took his hand. Right there on his wrist was ‘Arthur Kirkland’. Not my deadname. And he was my soulmate. And I mentally said a quick thank you to God and gods and Buddha and anyone who could’ve helped me along.</p><p>There was just one thing I didn’t understand.</p><p>I pulled up my sleeve. “Why the <i>fuck<i> is the F on my wrist?”</i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Holy shit! The F’s on your wrist. Look at that!”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>He ignored everything else on my wrist, which was rather nice of him because it’s none of his goddamn business.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Why just the middle initial, though?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Well that’s how I like to introduce myself. I’m not Alex Jones. That’s the ‘chemicals in the water turn the frickin’ frogs gay’ guy. I’m Alex F. Jones! That’s a hero’s name!”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>I silently wondered whether it was too late to rescind my prayers. I also silently swore to tell Alex back home that she shared the name of some man who thought that frogs were being turned gay.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>“Well I suppose it would be rather interesting to get to know you,” I muttered, instinctively going to tuck my hair back- a feat that I hadn’t been able to lean on as a nervous habit since cutting it. So I imagine it looked weird to him.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>But he just gave me a smile like that was the happiest he’d been.</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>&gt;:)))))!!!!!</p><p>Feel free to leave Kudos and a comment!!! They’re both always appreciated! :)!</p><p>Hope everyone’s staying safe in this quarantine! :)!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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